A guy goes to the Doctor.
Guy – Doctor, I think I broke my arm in three places…
Doctor – Well, don’t go to those places!

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A Cute Nurse came for the interview…
Doctor – What salary do you expect?
Nurse – Rs.10,000. only
Doctor was overjoyed & said – My Pleasure.
Nurse – With Pleasure its 25,000.

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Dentist – Don’t worry, it will take me only 1 minute to pull your tooth out.
Patient – And how much will it cost me?
Doctor – 100$.
Patient – For a 1 minute job?
Doctor – If you prefer, I can be pulling it out for one hour…

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Patient – Doctor sahab, apko yakeen hai ki mujhe Nimonia (pneumonia) hai,
kyunki picchle dino ek doctor mere friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Tyfied se mar gaya…
Doctor – Yes! Mujhe pura yakeen hai ki tu nimonia se hi marega…

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The doctor told a patient that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,
He would loose 34 kilos.
After 300 days, the patient called the doctor to report he had lost weight, but he had a problem.
Doctor – ‘What is the problem?’
Patient – ‘I am 2400 kms. away from home…

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Patient – Na khaauu, to bhook lagti hai. Na souu, to Neend aati hai. Zyada kaam karu, to thakawat hoti hai.
Doctor – Sari Raat Dhoop main baitho, Theek ho jaoge.

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Patient – Doctor Sahab, main jab baat karta hu to mujhe sirf awaaz sunaai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Doctor – Aisa kab hota hai?
Patient – Phone karte waqt…

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Sharabi to Doctor – Kya aap meri sharab chhudwa sakte ho?
Doctor – Yes, kyun nahi.
Sharabi – To police headquaters main meri 4 bottle padi hai. Please chhudwa do…

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Doctor – You should take at least 10 glasses of water everyday.
Patient – It is impossible.
Doctor – Why?
Patient – I have only 4 glasses at home…..

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Lady Patient – Doctor! Please call my husband inside.
Doctor – Trust me, I’m a Gentleman.
Lady – No Doctor, Your Nurse is sitting outside & my husband is not a Gentleman…

Doctor (mariz se) – Tabiyat kasi hai ?
Mariz – Pahale se jayada Kharab hai…
Doctor – Dawai Kha li thi kya ?
Mariz – Nahi, Dawai ki Sisi to Bhari hui thi…
Doctor – Mera matlab hai ki dawai Le Li thi kya ?
Mariz – ji Apne di to mane Le li thi…
Doctor – Bewaquf Dawai Pi Li thi kya ?
Mariz – Nahi, Dawai to Lal thi…
Doctor – Abe Gadhe dawai ko pi liya tha ?
Mariz – Nahi, Saab Piliya to mujhe tha…
Doctor – Are Dawa ko Munh se lagakar Pet main Dala tha ?
Mariz – Nahi…
Doctor – kyu ?
Mariz – Apne to kaha tha ki Sisi ko Dhkkan laga kar rakhna…